why i might want to be an alcoholic

I recently read an article in Christianity Today and the title of this post is the subtitle of the article. Its about brokenness and how its easier to see Christ and accept His grace from the bottom of the barrel than it is from the rooftops or even in the everyday mundane. It talked about how self-righteousness is one of the most difficult sins to overcome because the simple act of raising open palms to God is so hard for those of us who are white-knuckle clutching on to our own pride. So, that got me thinking about hand-raising. One of my non-Christian friends asked me once why I raised my hands when I worshiped. I don't believe that anyone has to raise their hands in worship all of the time, your heart is what God sees anyway. Trust is what He wants, that involves all of who you are...that's what He wants. I do, though, still think about the reasons that I gave my friend. Here's my thoughts... 1 - When you are in total-surrender mode, where are your hands? This shows the other person that you've got nothing up your sleeve and you're helpless. 2 - When a child wants to be held, how does he come to his parents? When he can't take care of things on his own, how does he present himself to them? 3 - When you're in trouble and the police are at your door, what is the first thing that they yell? Why do they want your hands in the air? It's called surrender. You can't lift your hands up and feel anything but vulnerable. I admit that I'm struggling with surrender, total surrender. It scares me! I want to fly and let God navigate, but that's my game. Pray for me, if you will, and tell me what you think.